When I was born, in mid-July 1990, the Sun was in the sign of Cancer.
Cancer’s motto is ‘I feel.’
Symbolized by the crab and governed by the Moon, Cancer embodies the feminine energy, the water energy, emotions, and intuition.
Cancer is also the ruler of the 4th house in astrology, which has everything to do with home.
I’ve been drawn to the occult and the esoteric matters of our world ever since I was a tiny little girl.
But the idea that I am a personification of this Cancerian energy, represented by home, family, roots, ancestors, the mother figure, and emotions – was unacceptable for me for a very long time.
Perhaps it’s because I was born into a turbulent household, and my home rarely felt like a sanctuary to me when I was growing up.
Perhaps it’s because I was born into a family in which I was perceived as – and, let’s face it, actually was – an oddball.
Perhaps it’s because I felt that the popular interpretation of the sign of Cancer pushed me into the traditional female gender role of embodying a literal mother and a caretaker. I wanted to be anything but.
Fast forward to the present, and I’m a proud Cancerian.
I understand that the themes of home and family have always been so triggering to me precisely because they’ve always been of utmost importance to me. My family was and, it seems, always will be the womb of my emotional body, thus the source of my deepest healing.
I now also understand that finding my soul family on this Earth is the steadfast way to fulfil that burning desire to belong.
But what’s even more fascinating and more relevant to my topic of today’s blog is how accurately the crab reflects how I see home as such.
You see, everybody knows a typical crab with its exoskeleton – an external shell made up of a tough semi-transparent material called chitin – protecting the crab’s soft body from external injuries, heat, and predators.
Home, as we tend to understand it, is a place of safety, a sanctuary, a shelter. Home is where it’s just the way you like things, the reflection of your identity. It literally is part of you, whether you’re a crab or not.
Just like a crab, though, I never longed to put down roots in one particular place. I’ve always had this curious nomadic nature in me, feeling alive when moving and exploring new terrains.
The feeling of being at home that I have been longing for was meant to be found inside of my own personal bubble.
And the hermit crab brings in yet another dimension into my concept of home. I relate to its nature a whole lot, especially looking back at my gypsy-like seasonal worker lifestyle.
So, a hermit crab can be seen as a squatter or a renter as opposed to a homeowner.
Hermit crab is a whole other classification of crabs, more related to squat lobsters and porcelain crabs than true crabs. But let’s just skip the biology class, since I’m literally learning all this as I’m writing, and go down to the point.
The point is that these hermit crabs don’t have their own exoskeletons to protect them from the outside dangers. What they do is they salvage empty seashells to inhabit them. And as they grow, they need to find and move into a bigger one again and again.
I personally find it particularly fitting to the way I now interpret my existential itch to move from one place to another. It happens in the face of big changes in my life, like the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. And it’s especially true with my spiritual awakening and reawakenings and other deep revelations and transformations of my soul.
I see life as a never-ending chain of transformations, a hero’s journey of growth, of dismantling the programs, breaking free from inner blocks, and unraveling the true essence of my soul, moving towards the light, the truth, and the love inside of us all. And in order to feel somewhat safe in this beautiful unpredictability of life, to have a place I call home is crucial, albeit it’s something I create anew on a regular basis.
So I suppose this is my way to announce I recently moved to a really nice home of my own.
Perfect for this chapter of my life.
Renting, of course.
Until my next spiritual revolution.
***
Featured image: Audra Bajori, portrait, Norway, 2022
***
But crabs, though! They’re cool, aren’t they?
If you’re not convinced they’re adorable and awesome, watch the video below to see how hermit crabs swap their homes like pros:
